Introduction: They say the chances of winning the lottery are the same as getting struck by lightning. So it'd be nut and absurd to have both happen to you, right? You're broke. You're abandoned. You're kicked out of your girl's house by her all-about-political image father. You've reached rock bottom. Lightning strikes. You are different now. You're gonna make all rich, spoiled folks respect you, envy you, or even better, fear you.

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